Conor -- Mr. Tour Guide

D: Paddy's Palace, Belfast
there is just so much to write... we haven't been able to use the internet as often as expected so i apologize for those who were concerned. we are fine. casey is so sad, but we are doing just fine. sooooo.... we decided to split up the topics that we want to blog. i volunteered to write about 2 interesting guys we met. the first is conor. oh, what to say about conor...
the first day of the tour, he had each of us go forward and introduce ourselves to him (and everyone) with the microphone. casey went first and announced that she was 17. conor said he would look the other way if she wanted to drink. i went soon after casey and ended up singing 'summertime' for the entire bus. i gave myself 3 out of 10 stars. it was not so good. jaeda was next. so funny... she was wearing her t-shirt that says 'i choose not to, i'm mormon' conor didn't have a clue what a mormon was, let alone why you would choose not to. she explained what her shirt meant. who the mormons are and whatnot. he asked what kinds of things we choose not to do. 'drinking...smoking...swearing...' poor conor had a heart attack. he explained that he had guinness in his baby bottle and that the first time he ever threw up he was told to clean up the f-n mess.
conor has a mouth on him, that's for sure. i don't know... i think it must be the accent that keeps me from jumping everytime he drops the f-bomb (mind you that this is several times in just one sentence). jaeda counted his crass words today. 55 in one hour...
he is so hilarious. i laugh at all of the stories he tells. i have been keeping track of some of the things he has said. i don't have it with me right now. but... i think i will add more when i don't have to climb 25 flights of stairs to get to it. for now...
- he tells crazy stories. you can't believe anything that comes out of his mouth. one of my favorite stories was when a friend of his asked him to transport a garda car to a different city. he came across a car accident and ended up directing traffic and speeding away just as the real garda arrived.

- 'self-praise is no praise'

- jaeda mentioned the karaoke. one of the guys signed him up to sing 'it's raining men' he did it just because we thought he wouldn't

- i asked him one day why they call him the driver when he doesn't drive. apparently you have to be 21 to have a bus license. he is only 20

- when one of the women on our tour asked him why there are so many rocks in ireland he responded, 'don't yu know, that's what cuntries are made uf?'

- a couple of times he has said 'there are two stories about how this came to be. one of them's fact and the other is fiction. you can decide for yourselves.' he then proceeds to give you the whole story about how the faerie people, or the giant's did one thing or another and that's how it is and such. the second story is how the 'volcanic activity...blah blah blah, it's all bs, mcgool built them stairs'

- he is always giving people a hard time. slaggin' them.

- at the blarney stone, he assured us that we would speak like an irishman for 7 years... that we could tell a man to go to hell in such a way that they'll be lookin' forward to the journey.

- 'to git back at ye, i'll put in this music which you won't have a clue what it's about, 'cuz it's in irish -- HAH!'

-'look at the expression on my face... does it look like i care?'

-'didn't anyone read the brochure? things yu need ta bring -- helmet, english/irish dictionary, bulletproof/stabproof vest, passport...'

-'oh, everyone's asleep. i'll jus talk to meself. hello conor. hello. how are you today? i'm fine, thanks. any craic? no. nothing? allright'

-'Leprechaun's make shoes all day. for faeries...why do faeries need shoes, you wunder since they fly and all? it's for when they come in for a landing...'


anyway. this is just a bit of our experience with our tour leader conor. an interesting lad from the aran islands.